NARRATOR ( with French accent ): Ahh... Goo Lagoon...
a stinky mud puddle to you and me,
but to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom,
a wonderful, stinky mud puddle.
( sighs )
What a great day!
Hey, Sandy, look!
I'm Sandy!
( chuckles )
( in deep voice ): Hey, Sandy, who am I?
( laughing )
( phone rings )
Hello, SpongeBob.
Could you keep it down?
I'm trying to be boring.
( laughing )
SpongeBob.
( laughing )
( doorbell rings )
Did anyone order 20 pepperoni and sand pizzas?
( both laughing )
DEEP VOICE: Hey, Sandy.
Hey, SpongeBob.
Hey, Larry.
You guys want to go lift some weights?
Sure.
Well, come on, SpongeBob.
Coming.
( grunting and groaning )
Give it a try, Sandy.
( grunts )
( groaning )
Ee-yah!
( applause )
Whoa!
Good job, Sandy.
Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think?
LARRY: How about a little more weight?
Observe.
Yah!
( cheering and whooping )
All right, stand back, everyone.
Y'all watch this.
Ee-yah!
( cheering )
( creaking )
( crash )
( groaning )
Way to go, Larry!
( crowd cheering )
Could I borrow a couple of these?
Mm-hmm.
SPONGEBOB: And now, with the addition
of two... count' em, two... marshmallows.
( cracking )
( whirring )
( squeaking )
( creaks )
( exhales loudly )
( straining squeal )
( snoring )
( groaning )
( cowbell clanging )
( grunting )
( cloth ripping )
( all gasp )
( gasp )
( all laughing )
That was too funny.
You are hilarious!
Ain't he the funniest little sponge
you ever saw?
Anybody up for some volleyball?
( crowd cheering )
I got it!
( crowd groans, cowbell clangs )
Incoming.
( crowd booing )
( pants rip )
Oops!
I guess I ripped my pants again.
( crowd laughing )
Once again, dude, you have split my sides.
( laughing )
Hey, Sandy!
How about throwing it to me?
Okay, here it comes.
( Frisbee whirring )
( cuckoo sings )
I could use a hand here.
( giggles )
You okay, SpongeBob?
I guess so... except I ripped my pants!
( all laughing )
You still got it, dude.
( footsteps squeaking )
May I help you?
I'll take a banana split.
Uh... we don't have that.
That's okay.
I already... split my pants, get it?
( giggling )
( bored ): Tee-hee.
Anything else?
How about...
ripple?
( giggling )
No, thanks, already got one.
( laughing )
( footsteps springing )
Is that a burger you're eating?
Why, yes, it is.
You know what would go good with that?
No, what?
Ripped... pants.
( rip )
( yelling )
Ripped pants a la mode.
( rip )
SPONGEBOB: Delivery!
Did you order 20 cases of ripped pants?
( laughing )
( groans disgustedly )
ANNOUNCER: Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon.
And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back.
There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is.
There goes SpongeBob...
( rip )
Ripping his... pants again.
( rumbling )
Hey, look!
A cardboard box washed up on the beach.
Holy fish paste!
It's a guy!
Why?!
( sobbing ): Why?!
( shrieking ): Why?!
SpongeBob!
Come closer.
I need...
( gasping )
What do you need?
A tailor.
Because I ripped my pants!
( laughing )
( all grumbling )
SPECTATOR: That kind of stuff is uncalled for.
What is that?
That wasn't funny, SpongeBob.
Y'all had me worried sick.
Dude.
( rip )
SPONGEBOB: Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them!
Think! Your public's waiting.
Let's see...
"lifting weights... big laugh.
"Frisbee in face... kills.
"Surfing... knocks 'em dead.
"Pretending to drown...
no."
Come on, think!
I got it!
Hey, everybody.
Not ripped pants...
pants ripped off!
Huh?
Someone call the police.
There's a pants thief on the loose.
( wind howling )
( voices in distance )
( party music playing )
Oh, no!
Everybody's gone, even Sandy.
She'd rather hang out with Larry.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We blew it, pants.
What do you mean, "we"?
Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention.
Am I the biggest loser on the beach?!
No, I am.
I forgot to put on sunscreen.
( electronic buzzing )
Ouch.
No, I am.
I got sand in my buns.
( thunderous rumbling )
No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach.
They buried me in the sand and forgot me.
ALL: What happened to you?
I lost my best friend.
How?
♪ When I ripped... ♪
( rip )
♪ My pants ♪
♪ I thought that I had everybody on my side ♪
♪ But I went and blew it all sky-high ♪
♪ And now she won't even spare a passing glance ♪
♪ All just because I ♪
( rip )
♪ Ripped my pants. ♪
♪ When big Larry came round ♪
♪ Just to put him down ♪
♪ SpongeBob turned into a clown ♪
♪ And no girl ever wants to dance ♪
♪ With a fool who went and ♪
( rip )
♪ Ripped his pants ♪
♪ I know I shouldn't mope around ♪
♪ I shouldn't curse ♪
♪ But the pain feels so much worse ♪
♪ 'Cause windin' up with no one is a lot less fun ♪
♪ Than a burn from the sun ♪
♪ Or sand in your buns ♪
♪ Now I learned a lesson l won't soon forget ♪
♪ So listen and you won't regret ♪
♪ Be true to yourself ♪
♪ Don't miss your chance ♪
♪ And you won't end up ♪
♪ Like the fool who ripped his pants. ♪
( loud rip )
( audience cheering )
SANDY: SpongeBob!
Sandy!
Your song is true.
If y'all want to be my friend,
just be yourself.
SpongeBob, that was so righteous.
Would you... sign my pants?
Absolutely, buddy.
( rips )
( somebody whistles )